Kill ‘Em with Kindness
My friend and I were visiting the home of someone he knew only a little. I had met this lady a couple times, but could hardly call her more than an acquaintance. She was cooking cheeseburgers for her family’s supper and I was trying to be conversational so I asked what kind of cheese she was cutting off the block—it was not just Kraft sandwich singles.
I found out her sister worked for a company that made cheese and she was able to get gourmet cheeses for only cents a pound. I was amazed and thought of my needy family who did not have quality food at that time. I asked if we could get in on that deal and I would buy at least $5 worth. I did not stop to think the trouble I was putting her and her sister to so they could save me, whom they did not know, a few bucks.
The next week I saw this lady and she had a small box full of a selection of cheeses. I was overwhelmed and knew I did not have enough to pay her for all of that. When I pulled out my money, she said, “Don’t worry about it. Just take it.”
That taught me a lesson.
I was being cheesy
It was selfish and inconsiderate of me to make others go to extra trouble to save me some money. If someone had said that to my face I would have been defiant. By her kindness, this woman got the message across in a way I could not argue with. After receiving her gift, I was stuck. I would probably have made this an ongoing deal, trying to get cheap cheese every month, but now I would feel awkward asking for more. To ask her get me more now would be asking her to buy my food. So, I never brought it up again. Lesson learned.
Jesus taught this principle. This might be why He said to give something extra to the person who takes you to court. It might be why He said you should walk an extra mile with someone who demands your assistance against your will. This might be why He said to love your enemy and be kind to those who are rude and hateful (See Matthew 5:38-44). Kill them with kindness.
Guerilla tactics
Who do you want to change? What person do you want to straighten out? Kill them with kindness. Stop lecturing people to death. Even with your own kids, you can model the person you want them to be instead of nagging about what you don’t like in their lives.
More is less when it comes to users and socially abusive people. My former pastor had to be in a situation for a couple weeks with a man who cussed a lot. This man wanted nothing to do with God and my pastor wanted nothing to do with his filthy mouth. So, the man of God started talking about the things of God every time this man of earth started talking dirt. After the first week, the man’s mouth was pretty clean. He overcame him with kindness, not by lecturing on why he should not be a potty mouth or his mother should have raised him better.
Confrontation often further entrenches people in their behavior. Love breaks the spell. See what evil spirits you can kill this week with forgiveness, generosity, and kind words.