How to get through offense
One of my sons raises exotic birds. He was talking one day about how a bird does not understand a fence. It can see what it wants and where it wants to go but cannot find a way through a wire fence. It will pace back and forth for hours looking at the destination but not being able to move forward.
I instantly identified with that caged creature.
In some areas of my life, I’ve wanted to move forward. I knew the destination God intended for me and had the goal in clear view. Yet something was keeping me from moving forward.
Was it a fence? It felt like it, but, no, it was offense.
The biblical sense of an “offense” is a trap or a snare.
Snares are often made up of one wire to catch the leg of an animal passing through.
I had an epiphany of several snares, little strands of offense that had woven together and trapped me from getting to where the Lord wanted me to be. I was fenced off by offense—dozens of little things I had not dealt with properly.
To be free, I needed to remove them, one by one.
That began a process of Jesus opening my eyes to places and incidents where people did or said hurtful things. Scenes came to mind I had just ignored or buried. I began to deal with them one by one.
I confronted many of those incidents in prayer. This is simple for anyone to do. You go through the whole scene. Relive the moment and the feelings in the sight of God. Then, pick up all that mess and hand it to Him. He can handle it, not you or I.
For some incidents, you’ll have to confront the person who harmed you. You go to them with the goal of restoring and receiving that person back as a brother or sister in the family of God. Most will jump at the chance to make things right. Some will not realize that they had hurt you.
For a few tough cases, you’ll have to bring along witnesses, if you are intent on restoring the relationship. If they will not admit and confess their sin against you when you talk to them alone, then you have to involve other brothers and sisters who know you and the person. These are character witnesses, but it is even better if the two or three you involve in this process were witnesses to the incident that caused you to stumble.
Some people you will never gain back.
But to be healed of the offenses that have kept you trapped, you have to go through this process of giving them a chance. Only then can you say, “It’s you not me.”
Most offenses live in your head and the people you thought hated you really meant you no harm. You must deal with those in the presence of Jesus, too.
Once you take down the offense barrier strand by strand, you’ll get through to where you were supposed to be all along.
Do you know your calling but you struggle to get there? Take some time to see what offenses might be holding you back.