Is that what it means?
There came a day when a switch flipped inside me. I didn’t realize how easy it was to be the person I wanted to be, the person God wanted me to be. It came down to a matter of choice.
While I tell this process better in my book Factory Reset, I finally began to see things differently after going through a true repentance process.
For an example of the old me, I used to get so upset when my kids would break things. Ceramic plates and cups would crash to the floor. It seemed like every week someone dropped something and shattered another nice piece of dinnerware.
Is that irritating? Were they being wasteful or just trying to make me mad?
After my spiritual reinstall, I realized that no one could make me mad. I could choose to respond with rage, but no one could MAKE ME angry.
When a plate shatters it only means a fragile object collided with a hard one. If I take any other meaning from the event, it is my choice, not an inherent truth.
Here’s some options of what I could make it mean:
- Ceramic dishes are inferior to plastic
- Kids shouldn’t handle the dishes
- They are breaking things to get on my nerves
- They don’t appreciate the things I’ve paid for
- They just destroy everything
- They don’t care about what matters to me
- Manufactures make things fragile so we will have to buy more of them
The list is endless. What’s funny though, is that once you or I apply a certain meaning to situations in life, we struggle to see it any other way.
Sports are an example of how we apply meanings to things that have no inherent meaning. Why do sports fans become ecstatic when a person carries a football across the end of the field? Because we decided what that line would mean. We could have decided that he would have to hit that football with a bat or throw it through a ring with a net on it. Sports give us a set of goals to measure teamwork and performance by.
What “rules” are you judging your life by? Are they real or imagined? Even if everyone else believes they are true, are they the correct perspective on reality?
As a child, you probably were given the impression that failure meant you were dumb or that you didn’t try hard enough. There are many meanings connected to a failure—some that will help you see life with hope.
At first, I did not cognitively realize that I could change the meaning I gave to situations in life, but my heart had shifted. Just because the Lord had restored me on the inside did not mean dishes stopped breaking in our home.
Then it happened.
One of them handled my favorite cup.
It was the right-size mug for me and the real-treecamouflage style was pretty cool, too.
My mom had given it to me.
They dropped it.
The handle shattered.
And I…
I laughed.
Somehow my former trigger of anger at clumsiness had dissolved.
God’s joy could flow in chaos.
I wasn’t faking it. My heart had shifted and things didn’t matter so much as people now.
Here’s the meaning I could give to that otherwise upsetting event:
- I love my kids more than my favorite coffee mug
- I get to go shopping for a new mug
- I needed to stop drinking caffeine anyway
- Anyone could have dropped it, even me
- I’m glad we don’t have a tile floor or it would break, too
Win the battle between your ears. Put on the thinking of Jesus. He wasn’t horrified but full of joy when He worked His way to the cross.
Jesus wasn’t devastated with the rejection of hundreds of His former followers. He didn’t give up when His closest friends abandoned Him. He knew the right way to look at life’s plot twists and He’ll help you see straight, too.
What meanings are you putting on stuff that are totally fabricated in your mind?
Being fired doesn’t mean you are worthless.
Not having enough money is a chance for you to learn new creativity and ingenuity.
What are some new meanings you should give to your fears, obstacles, and successes?
5 Comments
This is good lesson we can all learn from. Many times we are quick to let our flesh control our emotions. Thank you for this reminder.
Expectations… If you expect a person to behave a certain way and they don’t respond the way you expected…do you become angry and dissapointed with the person or situation or do you alter your expectations and move on and learn from the experience?
So true. No one can make us bitter or angry; those are choices we make in response to their behavior. We could choose to love more or to at least not be that person to someone else.
Awesome post my friend!
This is awesome! I used to feel the same way about “my wife’s dog”! He wasn’t mine and I “hated him”. He was in the way. He had to be cared for. He was a nuisance… to me! Then one day I said it… I love you buddy and now the rest is history. He sleeps in our bed now. He gets up on my lap to chill for the evening. I have a new best friend!
Thanks for Sharing!